• @MobileGolfer

ROAD TRIPS: "When Love + Hate Collide"




I would rather drive than fly — ANY day of the week. (Even to Alaska).


I like seeing America up close and personal, right out the window —BIG and BEAUTIFUL. I love taking in the Bluebonnets and Azaleas in the south in Spring, deer and moose in Colorado in summer (#LoveSummer), the incredible foliage kaleidoscope across the north in the fall, and frost collected on trees—with red barns reflecting on fresh white snow—in a Midwest winter. #HateWinter


Occasionally, however, that LOVE of driving collides with HATE. Occasionally unwritten rules get broken and STUPIDITY disregards common sense. #CrapHappens .


Speaking from experience… (#RoadRules)


* The driver controls the radio. Period. Prepare yourself for that with headphones and you’ll be fine.


* It’s rude to wear headphones in the car. (Unless you’re watching a movie…then it’s rude NOT TO.)


* When a kid throws up in your car it’s everything they’ve eaten the past three weeks. #Truth Especially if you don’t have a bag or bucket along.


* Kids only tell you they really have to use the restroom after you’ve just passed the last one for 30 miles. #PennsylvaniaTollRoads

* If someone lets you merge in front of them and you don’t wave you are a giant jerk. Just sayin’. (#ImCallingYourMom)


* There is NOTHING more infuriating than driving behind vehicles (especially semi-trucks) that seemingly have no interest in passing each other—EVER—and are (of course) traveling UNDER the freaking speed limit. Don’t be that guy. Get out of the way. (#Move)


* The second most infuriating thing in the world is a road construction zone—with lane reductions—without ONE SINGLE construction vehicle in sight. (#YouveGotToBeFreakingKiddingMe)


* There should be NO TOLL on turnpikes with lanes closed for construction. (Or there should be a Refund Booth) I’m talking to you, Ohio. At that point the Amish are traveling faster than cars are. (#HighSpeedHorseCarts)


* Throwing cigarette butts out the window IS littering. We should be allowed to shoot your tires out when we see you do it. (#TexasRules)


* Looking at your cell phone when the light turns green makes you likely to get honked at. And honking the split second a light turns green makes you a moron. (#JerseyDrivers)


* Did you know…honking your horn in a traffic jam does NOT straighten the mess up? And, interestingly enough, the more people who honk, still makes no difference in the congestion--NOT AT ALL. (#RoadScience)


* Sunflower seeds are as effective as Red Bull at keeping you awake. Either they’ll get stuck in your teeth, you’ll choke on them, or your tongue-and-tooth coordination will be so pathetic you’ll starve.


* That white stuff is snow. You’ve driven in it before so don’t act like you haven’t.


* You should never try to open a box of Rice Krispies anywhere, but especially in a car. Don’t ask. (#$#!%!)


* If you decide to swerve to avoid the deer in the road, you’re increasingly more likely to hit that same deer in the ditch. (#DitchKill)


* The longer you’re in the car the more likely you are to hear the same song multiple times. That formula increases when it’s a song you REALLY don’t like. (#JustinBieberAnything)


* 93% of accidents near Disneyworld or Disneyland, are caused by unlicensed and uneducated tourist drivers (Read: Terrorists on Wheels.) I mean...that has to be true.


BOTTOM LINE PEOPLE: RELAX. Less Digitus Med’ius, more intelligence. Safe travels America! (#SafeTravels)



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#StaysAndPlaysRules #StaysAndPlaysLessons #StaysAndPlaysFacts #IHateDrivingThroughOhioAndPennsylvania

Stays + Plays Travel Agency LLC

Minneapolis / St. Paul, MN

Info@StaysAndPlays.com

(507) 206-8821 (7AM - MIDNIGHT CST)

© 2010 by MobileGolfer

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